TL; DR

The s__ word and j__ word invalidate innovators' struggle and risk shredding your will to persevere.

What words? S: "Should." And j: "Just."

As in: "You SHOULD JUST ... [do whatever innovative thing that sounds easy but is actually hard]."

S__ and j__ are well-meant but still harmful

You may have heard people say these or many variations on the theme:

“You should just …do a startup. You’re innovative. Or you should just write a book. Tons of people would buy. Or you should just create training. You could reuse it all the time.”

What makes them terrible terrible?

They make hard things sound easy. Then you go do them and find that you struggle.

It's often not TRULY a surprise. You already guessed it. That's why you may have hesitated to do it in the first place.

But the "should just" sounded alluring and comforting. So you did it.

Most of you understands this and isn't surprised. But often, there’s also a nagging voice: “Is it just me? Am I not good enough? Nah … But maybe?”

Specifically, should and just often ignore the same things:

  • MONEY: Income comes last. What to do meanwhile?
  • TIME: When you first “do,” you are still bad and slow. How to get good?
  • HUMAN LIMITS: You can’t be great at everything. How to muddle through?
  • SCALE: Some things only work when you already have big numbers. But while still small?

Easy to say “shrug it off.” That sometimes works. But when it doesn’t, at 3 in the morning, it’s terrible.

This is not unique to innovation of course. It applies to anyone trying something that matters, making (not just talking)..

The tragic part is that they are often meant well. But they hurt just as badly as if they were said in malice.

What to do about it?

Supporting others

If you work with others and find yourself using the s__ word and j__ word yourself, instead do this:

Tell makers, doers, dreamers: “I can imagine ___ is really hard. But I believe in you. If anyone can do this, it's you.”

And, even better, you might say: “This is nor my world, but can I help?” Of course, they will think that you're just spouting platitudes. At that point, surprise them and show them with actions that you mean it. Support them for real!

Countering s__ and j__

You won't be able to stop all the s__ and j__ that come your way. So your only option is a coping strategy.

  • Get smart: Some of the problem with should and just is that you may only have a vague idea to counter them. You may only know that whatever you are planning is "hard." But you don't know in what way and just how much. So learn more about this difficult thing that you're about to attempt. Learn the specifics of all the difficulties. A funny thing happens when you do that. Your brain will switch from "freak-out mode" to "problem solving mode." All of a sudden, a scary boogieman becomes just another challenge. And once it does, your emotions tamp down and your empowerment and faith in yourself goes up. Even better, it's reasonable because you actually DO know a lot more know and can start to think about solving it.
  • Get antidotes: You already know this, but you may not have acted on it. Ask trusted friends or family members to help you de-fang the shoulds and justs when you suffer from them. Tell them up-front that you don't want sickly-sweet optimism, just reassurance that you can figure it out, and that they'll be with you along the journey, no matter how hard it gets. That's it. Well, almost: After you do that, actually use your antidote. When you next suffer from should and just, contact your people and ask for their help. Don't consider it complaining. Consider it detox.

Your turn!

Whom can you support today?

Text them, call them, meet with them right now!

T.I.S.C.